its such a seductive idea, to just let go and watch everything spiral out of control, saying that i dont care, i dont want to care anymore, and just let things go their way.
but i cant.
its so attractive, to give up right now, even scary that i have such a notion in my head.
but i cant.
i have to keep telling myself that i cant do this or else im scared i'll let myself do it.
and God knows what will happen.
i need to pull on the reins tighter.
pull myself together and grab hold of smthg solid before i get sucked under the quicksand.
but there's nothing in this world that i can safely hold on to.
and i only have Jesus.

and im so freaking scared for my art and math now.
esp relative velocity and vectors.
i dont understand a single friggin part of it.
oh no.
i need help.
hopefully xiaoling can help me.
still waiting for her reply.
if not... i dunno.
can you help me alvin? (yes i know you read this)
puhlease?
heh. thankews muchly (in advance).

hmmm. cross country run tml. hahaha. should be fun?
ok. off to study for ss.
and my art is still untouched and due in 2 weeks time.
dddddiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee